The Bearded Lady on Wilshire Boulevard
// February 5th, 2010 // LA Done Me Wrong
Where did the time go? We’re in the 2nd month of the year of our lord, 2010. Right here, right now in Los Angeles. I’m the oldest and wisest I’ve ever been in my whole entire life. Just like every single person in the world. It’s the laws of nature at work. Well, oldest for sure. Although wisest… perhaps.
It’s quite possible that not everyone is at their wisest. Like the bearded lady who lives at the end of our block on Wilshire Boulevard. She has a very thick white beard. She scrounges for food in the trash cans outside the many tall office buildings that line Wilshire, office people, students, random junkies coming and going. Clearly, she’s homeless. My brother and I have seen here several times when we drive by. When we return on foot she’s gone. Otherwise I’d offer her some sort of food in exchange for hearing her beard story. Like how did it happen. When did she let herself go? I’d like to hear that she at some point of her life was wiser than she is now, maybe had a home here in Los Angeles to live in, shaved her beard consistently and had some semblance of a normal life. Like me…
I’m off to pluck my chin hairs now. All girls get them, by the way. Some just get them thicker than others.
P.S. Following this blog, my older, wiser friend Brandon emailed me
“This country didn’t have Homeless on this scale until Ronal Reagan.
I was overseas for most of his first term.
When I came back, I didn’t recognize my Country.”
9 Responses to “The Bearded Lady on Wilshire Boulevard”
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She might tell she was let go, when Reagan became President, and she let the facial grow out so she won’t get jumped so often at night.
I bet she’d tell you her story for a couple of sandwiches and a few bottles of water, a can opener, and bus fare (buy two tokens) and give her this address:
7563 Beverly Blvd.
Directions:
Take the bus N. on Normandy to Beverly
Take the Bus (not the express bus which is red) W. to Curson, in between
La Brea and Fairfax.
The Building is on the right side.
They’re open Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 10AM -1:30PM
They’ll give her enough food for a month (that’s why she’ll need the can opener) and Bus Tokens for free. Maybe they be able to help her more, I don’t know.
Sorry B, it’s hard to be funny on this one. I see them and it cuts too deep.
I did hear a comedian once say “Homeless? Just say Camping”
It was funny at the time, now, not so much.
She might tell you she was let go from the hospital, when Reagan became President, and she let the beard grow out so she won’t get jumped so often at night.
I bet she’d tell you her story for a couple of sandwiches and a few bottles of water, a can opener, and bus fare, buy two tokens, so she can’t use money for liquor (damn that’s cynical) and give her this address:
7563 Beverly Blvd.
It’s Between La Brea and Fairfafax.
Here’s how she get’s there.
Take the Bus North on Normandy to Beverly.
Take the Bus West on Beverly (not the express, which is red, she wants the orange bus) to Curson. The Building will be on the right, she’ll have to cross the street.
She’ll see the line.
They’ll give her food for a month (every month) Bus tokens, and maybe can help her find shelter.
It’s hard to be funny on this one B, I see these people and it just cuts too deep.
Comedy from Tragedy? Here:
This is a Jewish organization that helps everyone, but if you’re a member of the tribe, there are extra perks, including grants and one time housing subsidies. When they see her beard they might think she’s Hassid. You know, the ones who look like a cross between ZZ Top and the Trench Coat Mafia. If not She’ll at least get a razor.
Nothing is sacred from humor.
That’s the best I could do.
This is a basic blog and I forth pastime reading it every morning tender thanks you
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I wonder if its the same bearded lady I saw years ago as a child on the East Coast. she was just sporting scruffy lumberjack cheeks at the time. I bet her story involves her pilgrimage to Los Angeles to live the Dream!
Side note: I asked a homeless guy one time if he liked it here in LA (we were on Sunset Strip). He said it’s the best place in the world to be “down on your luck”. I think he was saying that because we throw away a lot of cool and/or edible stuff. lol
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I’ve been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!
Thumbs up, and keep it going!
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[...] I’d like to know though, is where else can you find a bearded woman rummaging through garbage a block from your apartment? Not in the nice neighborhoods, I can assure [...]
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