// November 18th, 2010 // No Comments » // LA Done Me Wrong
Yesterday a hillbilly crashed into the car I was in with Stan. Stan and I were heading South on Overland at Venice, just about to turn into the parking lot containing the Famina, Yogurtland and Bally’s, when we came across the hillbilly reversing as fast as he could without looking back – typical hillbilly move. As compassionate as I strive to be, this man’s complete disregard for others by slamming into us with his car without even a glace back as he reversed, instantly lit my temper on fire. His first words when he got out of his car didn’t help either. “That was already there!” He said of the damage he’d caused to Stan’s paint and bumper. Right?! The hillbilly allegedly somehow magically and psychically knew without even looking back as he reversed that all the damage he’d just caused to Stan’s paint and bumper was “already there.” His lunatic delusions continued with the outright lie “I was honking my horn!”
Stan realized there was no reasoning with him and said “Let’s not argue, let’s just exchange insurance information.” The clever hillbilly retorted “So you’re admitting fault!” To which Stan replied. “No, all I said was let’s exchange insurance information.” The hillbilly blinked “So, you are admitting fault!” Yes, Stan was admitting it was his fault that he was hit by a lunatic hillbilly who felt the need to floor the gas pedal while reversing recklessly.
I let him have it. “How can you tell such an outright lie!?” It took him a second to come up with a comeback. “We should just forget all this. You don’t want to have to go to small claims court, do you?” He said. “OH, BUT I DO. I’m sure when the judge looks at your driving record versus Stan’s he’s going to rule against you!?” I said looking at his banged up car. “You’re judging me!” He said. He was right. I was judging him, and judging that if he was going to lie to my face, he was going to lie to the judge’s. “So you’re going to PERJURE yourself in court?!” I glared at him. The look in his intimidated eyes made it clear he had no idea what in God’s good name “perjure” meant. It was at that moment I felt sorry for him and this life he’s leading which probably isn’t a very happy one. Nonetheless, Stan deserves to have his car repaired.