BLOG BELLA

A Funeral, A Life

// May 19th, 2011 // 4 Comments » // Random

Me & Tom Bridegroom on his birthday

I kiss my fiance when I come home. I fall asleep with him in my arms. I hold his hand when we go hiking. If he was taken from me it would hurt. If he was taken from me and I wasn’t allowed to attend his funeral because his parents didn’t approve of our relationship that would hurt even more. That’s what happened a day ago to my friend Shane who was not allowed to attend the funeral of the man he’d been with for six years who’d died suddenly at the age of 29. His partner, Tom Bridegroom, was laid to rest in Knox, Indiana, where Tom’s father banned Shane from the services. Mind you, Tom’s father is allegedly Christian and took great issue with his son being gay. I grew up allegedly Christian as well, with my bearded dad who loudly voiced his own anti-gay sentiment while also preaching Jesus’ love.

Which made me wonder, how many times in the Bible does Jesus say to mistreat gay people? None, of course. Jesus, who Christians believe to be God’s own son in human form, himself hung out with people considered the lowest form of sinners such as prostitutes and tax collectors, to show love, humility and mercy. Which inspires me to be compassionate towards Tom’s dad, who in his own state of grieving for his lost son, ostracized the man his son loved most in the world, while also completely ignoring one of the main two things Jesus wanted to get across.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22.37-40 ESV) 

My heart hurts for Shane. At the same time, I know the love he and Tom had will live on. The love Tom gave everyone will live on. When I was the receptionist at ACME, it was Tom with his warmth and charisma who received the most phone calls. Just being in the same room with him made me happier. “Bel, how are you?” Tom would say to me, and flash his big, gorgeous smile. I loved his laugh and have my suspicions that he came into this world to inspire, laugh and love. His time to move on came May 7^th, 2011, and it has changed the lives of the hundreds of people who knew and loved him.

* Tom’s LA memorial is tentatively scheduled for 6/25/2011.

 

Veggie Grill on Sunset

// February 20th, 2010 // 13 Comments » // I Love LA.

Last night I dined at The Veggie Grill near Sunset and Fairfax with my Facebook friends, and real friends, Tom, Shane and Michaela.  “Bel, I had the ‘Chickin’ Ceaser Wrap’ last time.  It’s really good.”  Tom said.  Taken aback by this self-proclaimed vegan person claiming to have recently consumed chicken, I said “I thought you were vegan!”  Tom was then obligatorily forced to laugh uproariously at my cluelessnes.  Veggie Grill apparently, serves vegan, 100% plant based fare.  It’s the first fast-casual restaurant chain of it’s kind, recently recognized by Los Angeles magazine as one of L.A.’s “Best Cheap Eats.” 

Beautifully sitting on my white ceramic plate, the “Chickin’ Caesar Wrap” tasted like it actually contained grilled, blackened chicken.  It was for sure amazing.  Tom ordered the burger which he claims tasted like a real burger.  The restaurant ambiance was nice on the eyes with bamboo floors and vibrant kiwi-green and orange décor.  A little toddler boy with an afro took a liking to our charismatic group and waved at us all, friendly-like, before running off in the opposite direction. 

The available desserts were carrot cake, chocolate tofu pudding and a cookie with nuts.  Shane bought the cookie to go.  “It has big chunky nuts,” he observed.  “You don’t like big chunky nuts?”  Michaela asked.  “What, you don’t like big chunky nuts?” I also innocently and naively asked as a big group of people stepped towards us, within earshot.  I think they appreciated our avant-garde sense of humor.