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West Hollywood Halloween Parade

// November 4th, 2010 // 4 Comments » // I Love LA.

Poison Ivy Bel

This Halloween I was at the largest Halloween celebration in the world, the West Hollywood Halloween Parade just West of Los Angeles. Usually it consists of people in costume, walking the street en masse.  This year there was an actual parade, however, including members of the Rocky Horror Picture Show cast, stage performers and city officials being transported in pedi floats down Santa Monica Blvd. I missed that. But Stan and I had a great time seeing all the ridiculous, hilarity taking place like the guy dressed as a hot dog yelling “I’m a hot dog! I’m a hot dog!” as Lady Gaga walked by, Dorothy and the tin man skipped hand in hand and the dozens of cops and swat team joked with the revelers and posed for photos.

The Belly Room at the Comedy Store

// April 8th, 2010 // 39 Comments » // LA Done Me Wrong

“I’m morbidly obese!”  The very slightly pudgy comedian onstage said.  I was at The Comedy Store last night with Stan and my brother Richard in the Belly Room awaiting our friend Brandon Phillips’ standup.  “If you don’t believe me,”  The dude onstage continued, “go look at the other gays on Santa Monica Boulevard.” 

Me on my bathroom floor

Driving through West Hollywood, seeing all the giant billboards with super hot, glistening men with perfect abs, and women wearing tiny bits of fabric masquerading as clothing makes me think that yes, I would like to reduce my 25″ tummy size which I just measured to be sure.  Why do I want such an absurdly tiny tummy?  Maybe because I live in Los Angeles where many people are obsessed with being physically perfect.  If I was still in Florida walking through Wal-Mart, moving aside to let the size 14 women in the aisles pass I might not care as much.  Recently, when a boyfriend told me I had a flabby tummy I went into the bathroom and cried.  “You think I’m not perfect!” was my inner diatribe.  Obviously I know I’m not perfect but I’d like the person I’m dating to think I am.  That would be nice.  Or maybe cracking on myself onstage in front of 90 strangers at the Comedy Store on Sunset would be the way to go.  It would be me, Bel, making fun of my belly in the Belly room.

Take That! The Finger and American Idol.

// March 12th, 2010 // 7 Comments » // I Love LA., LA Done Me Wrong

It’s true. On the way in I felt the urge to flick off his security guard. So I did. The security guard totally deserved it.

It was 11:45pm and I was outside of Michael and Ray’s lavish West Hollywood apartment building. I pressed the buzzer button, waiting to be buzzed inside the building. The buzzer was taking it’s sweet time. Upon observation of the glass door, however, I saw it was conveniently ajar so I pushed it opened. Apparently this infuriated the security guard who until this moment I had not seen at all despite the fact that he was standing several feet away at the bottom of the staircase. “BUZZ YOURSELF IN JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!” I had just walked through the door, and at that moment the door began to buzz and I said “See, I buzzed myself in, just like everyone else. Thank you for your KIND POLITENESS!” I ran to the elevator. Realizing, however, that I hadn’t really given him the telling off he deserved, even though the words “kind” and “politeness” were dripping with sarcasm, I looked down through the glass elevator walls to see him looking up at me. I gave him the finger. It probably wasn’t a pretty sight since I hadn’t gotten a mani pedi in awhile but I think I did the right thing.

In other news, I really like Siobhan Magnus. She is endearingly expressive and I’m so glad she is one of American Idol’s top 12 right now.